heart amends

So many changes.

Changes in workplace.

Changes in eating habits.

Changes in relationships.

And here’s the most recent change.

My hearing.

I’ve lost another 15% which gives me a total loss of 47 left/52 right.

For those of you who didn’t know here’s a post where I shared a little about my hearing loss.

However the biggest change I’m feeling is in my heart.

Mainly because of the repair that is happening now after my newest hearing test results.

As it would happen I was having a difficult time relating to my oldest, it seemed at the time our communication lines where breaking down and I was beginning to wonder if this was the start of the “pre-teen era.”

Little did I know (read hear) it wasn’t the above at all.

After a tearful Monday morning I asked the Lord “what’s happening and why aren’t you helping me to deal with this..”

At work I kept asking every mother I spoke with if they understood. Most just laughed and said “dear it’s just the beginning.” 

Lovely.

The next morning I had an appointment to have my hearing aids that weren’t working  looked at as I really needed them for work.

The tech checked my ears (clean as whistle).. she proceeds to clean the aids, popping them back in…nothing.

Meanwhile I was becoming frustrated with my 4yr for asking the tech her umpteenth question.

Phylis the Tech, friend and “Grandma type” is not bothered and goes about working.

Placing the aids back in wired up to the computer.

“How about now?”

I shake my head no.

Puzzled she looked at me and said  “really?”

She decides next to do a hearing test.

After the stats were entered she said “well this is why..” the graph shifted, downwards. Resetting my aids.

Immediately I heard my daughter across the room talking quietly.

At that moment I felt the past frustrating months flash before me..

I cried.

Really cried.

Wondering how many times have I “ignored” my kids questions?

How many times have I accused my son for not asking or following directions?

And how many times did I think I was not being heard so I shouted even louder.

To many.

This doesn’t even cover the misunderstandings that likely took place between my dh and I.

It’s a wonder how my family has the tolerated me.

So thankful..HE heard me, even while I thought there where no answers.

The examples of  love, patience and child like forgiveness that has been exemplified through my loved ones reaches me to the core.

It’s what changes the heart..for the better.