I don't like to wait

Only a bit flustered tonight. Warning I'm gonna type this the way i feel like typing it..cause I can and it seems it's just me these days anyways so here goes.

As of these past six weeks it's been really really slow at my workplace and the whole barley floating feels more like sinking quicksand.

Disturbing to me to the point of questioning whether or not i should even bother to continue this work..you know just like blogging.

Why bother?

Anyways I'm in a dilemma and have been voiceing it regular like even at work with others at work..two of my coworkers have said this to me on two different occasions.

                "well maybe it's you and maybe your not that good.." OUCH.

and the other one..says

"I've noticed your mood determines how well you do on the client..when your in a good mood it's good and when your in a bad mood it's not good."  Double OUCH.

Taking cconstructive criticism has never been a quality of mine.
Frankly I cry right in the middle of it..however this time I didn't,  that is until I got out of sight.
It hurt and mostly it just so depressing, so why do they call it constructive when it feels more like DESTRUCTIVE.

Back to the point, after digesting this information, chewing it up, analyzing with my dh..also my best critic but even still knows I don't like it much.

Well we both concluded that i didn't need to dwell on what "they thought"..in fact they aren't the authority in this matter.

Instead I need do something about it.

Improve.

Still I can't understand  how one can say so bluntly what you fear to be true and not realize how much it hurts, hence the reason I don't much prefer people who put another down to make themselves look good.

And I tolerate sarcastic people because I understand they are just insecure and can't or don't know how to be real with others..so they hide behind "wit"  but besides this, I can never tell if they are sincere..ever. Ughh.


So where was I..oh yeah..moving on.

I'm altogether ready for change it's not good for me to sit and ponder to much..
And I really don't like the feeling of dejection..but who does?!

So today I looked in the papers..nothing.

Then tonight I decided to check out a clothing store I like..and when I called to see if they had any part/time sales openings, turns out they do :) ..and it turned out they were out of applications so I got to turn one in online which is much better in my opinion, neater and faster.

Why is this important info?

Well because if you find yourself in a place where your not sure what to do..and this after you've prayed often of course then the next best thing is to do is to "seek to find a better situation".  Life is full of trail and errors..so don't be afraid to try new things..(that's for me..)

Sitting and doing nothing isn't the answer.

It's not that I want to leave what I'm doing, in fact I'm hoping it will pick up soon..because I do enjoy it mostly.  It's said that it should get busier once this school year starts.

But in case it doesn't..well then at least I'll have something to fall back on.

I like to work..and I like being there for my kids/family..but in this economy my dh needs to know I have his back..giving him more support by adding to our financial income where our household income needs it..only makes sense.

Hopefully I'll hear something soon and not so I can shop with a discount although that's a perk I seriously don't mind..

Already I feel better that I'm trying to do something..besides wait.

Did I mention I'm not good at waiting?