Sensitive Feelings...

I admit it..I have them!

In Bible times there were paid mourners and I dear friends would have been an easy hire and maybe even the highest paid one! As the tears turn on so easily for others who are oppressed, even sappy commercials; movies and cards not just Hallmark get me also.

Growing up was that much harder as it used to be something the family teased me mercilessly about and seemed others viewed as a weakness.

A change occurred when I went into Beauty School 16 yrs ago, the Instructor/Owner of the school had also served as a Sergeant in the military need I say more. Mrs. G was the one to toughen me up with her bark and growl each day for 2200 plus hours. It was like an intense boot camp. I remember her telling me I needed to develop thicker skin cause not everyone is kind in this "dog eat cat world". Afterwards thinking "if she sees me cry she'll pick on me again and think I'm weak so just stuff it Dawn!"

So the soft exterior had to take a back seat way in the back in order for learning and training to take place and for this to work.

Afterwards my dh then boyfriend noticed I was not as soft hearted and others in the family said they thought it was good to see me toughen up a bit.

BTW~ I did achieve Top 10 Stylist for JCP Salons in Texas...A toast to Mrs. G, look what I did :0p!

Now add to this the first intense labor and delivery and then a second and third with little to no drugs, well then there's nothing you can't do?!

From one extreme to the other...

After years of the "tough exterior" my dh and I were in a marital dispute and he says this " it wasn't until THAT school" that you became harden, and I liked you being sensitive..."

Oh no....the roller coaster ride begins ...again!

After re-evaluating my marriage and commitment to the Lord, I truly accepted Christ counsel on these issue in my heart to serve others in faith and have a love towards everyone. It seems the more I accept His will all things tough start melting away the thick sheets of ice, layer by layer and I'm still defrosting.

I used to see these sensitive feelings as a defect or malfunction in my genetic makeup and while some cry out "Anti-depressant medication" I see clearly it's the way of the DHF working His truth into my heart and life, He needs me to feel these emotions and use them to bring Him glory.

Not sure where I'm headed but I know where I've been and as I learn to follow along His pathway, there's a season for everything under the sun.

I won't be perfect and others may have to deal with my crying at the slightest slight however He is preparing the way and all will be well in the end.

I hope to encourage anyone whose fighting this to just let go and let God. And remember to warn others around you...

BEWARE : Cries at the drop of a hat!

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

(This post is a re-post from 6~8~08)