As I begin our trip down memory lane..I think it best to describe an era that I would rather forget, however need to explain in order for readers to fully grasp
" who I was and who I am now.."
"THEN"
The title of this blog says it all, in fact the only other way to describe myself then would be somewhat like the women in John 8. Only I didn't sleep with married men, only single ones who promised me love in return (not money).
The prosecutor(s): myself and the "evil one" in knowing full well what I was doing was wrong according to scriptures and what I had been taught as a young child of the faith.
The prayers of many and the steady voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to listen and see the truths helped in "curbing" my sinful appetite. However it didn't stop me completely for a few years.
After my parents divorced at 13yrs of age and while living with mom (who BTW started mothering very young) knew what would happen if she didn't take me to the Dr's and put me on birth control.
Some are "shocked" at this revelation, looking back I see it was at the time the best thing she could have done..knowing that I was "L4LIATWP" (title)
And just for the record it was not "permission- it was protection" in her mind.
(TYJ 4 my mom. ;0)
Now we get to the part were after playing on satan's playground afterwards feeling used and empty, finally I swore off all guys/boys/men, no one could be trusted!
This went on for a good solid year.."cold turkey".
I was 17yrs old and all I did was school;work;and of course shop!
Often turning down those nice guys in hopes that one day
"the boy who took my heart would return to give me his."
Instead this is what happened..
It was the summer of 92' I went to a place called "Crider's Rodeo & Dancing under the stars."
It is nestled in the hills with a seasonal river bed just behind it, lined with lots of Cypress tress giving off a cool summer breeze. (Nice picture..right? Of course it wouldn't be a rodeo with out the smells of cow dung and beer scents wafting in the air along with the dust, while accompanied sounds of country music with those who can't sing or dance trying to help the band in the background.)
So I'm out there with family and friends and in the dancing mood, I walked up to a "trusted" partner who doesn't expect anything other then a hug for a dance.
As I was asking Dusty to dance, I noticed a new face standing next to him, very good looking in all departments including the "perfect W butt".
(Wranglers, girls that were made for just this guy!)
As I was looking at Mr.W, but asking Dusty to dance in the same moment another girl comes up behind and grabs him to dance..leaving me with this very quiet; very handsome; stetson wearing cowboy..whom still hasn't said a word.
Me thinking "this is awkward and how do I excuse myself? says the first thing I was thinking.. "Dooo yooouuu want to dance?"
His cool;calm;collected reply : "sure"
During our short close encounter,I'm still rambling to myself.."you don't do this..your not suppose to be in the arms of a perfectly good looking stranger who smells this good and looks even yummier..WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?"
As I start taking deep breaths trying to calm myself pretending I'm in a safe place..and I'm imagining that this feels so good!!!
Songs over~ gotta go..whew! That was a close call!
Lord help me to not trip over my wagging tongue! (aka: not to mess this up too!)
This was barely a whispered prayer, but still a prayer of permission for HIM to intervene and that HE did.
Stay tuned..for more "Love is in the air" beginnings..
" who I was and who I am now.."
"THEN"
The title of this blog says it all, in fact the only other way to describe myself then would be somewhat like the women in John 8. Only I didn't sleep with married men, only single ones who promised me love in return (not money).
The prosecutor(s): myself and the "evil one" in knowing full well what I was doing was wrong according to scriptures and what I had been taught as a young child of the faith.
The prayers of many and the steady voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to listen and see the truths helped in "curbing" my sinful appetite. However it didn't stop me completely for a few years.
After my parents divorced at 13yrs of age and while living with mom (who BTW started mothering very young) knew what would happen if she didn't take me to the Dr's and put me on birth control.
Some are "shocked" at this revelation, looking back I see it was at the time the best thing she could have done..knowing that I was "L4LIATWP" (title)
And just for the record it was not "permission- it was protection" in her mind.
(TYJ 4 my mom. ;0)
Now we get to the part were after playing on satan's playground afterwards feeling used and empty, finally I swore off all guys/boys/men, no one could be trusted!
This went on for a good solid year.."cold turkey".
I was 17yrs old and all I did was school;work;and of course shop!
Often turning down those nice guys in hopes that one day
"the boy who took my heart would return to give me his."
Instead this is what happened..
It was the summer of 92' I went to a place called "Crider's Rodeo & Dancing under the stars."
It is nestled in the hills with a seasonal river bed just behind it, lined with lots of Cypress tress giving off a cool summer breeze. (Nice picture..right? Of course it wouldn't be a rodeo with out the smells of cow dung and beer scents wafting in the air along with the dust, while accompanied sounds of country music with those who can't sing or dance trying to help the band in the background.)
So I'm out there with family and friends and in the dancing mood, I walked up to a "trusted" partner who doesn't expect anything other then a hug for a dance.
As I was asking Dusty to dance, I noticed a new face standing next to him, very good looking in all departments including the "perfect W butt".
(Wranglers, girls that were made for just this guy!)
As I was looking at Mr.W, but asking Dusty to dance in the same moment another girl comes up behind and grabs him to dance..leaving me with this very quiet; very handsome; stetson wearing cowboy..whom still hasn't said a word.
Me thinking "this is awkward and how do I excuse myself? says the first thing I was thinking.. "Dooo yooouuu want to dance?"
His cool;calm;collected reply : "sure"
During our short close encounter,I'm still rambling to myself.."you don't do this..your not suppose to be in the arms of a perfectly good looking stranger who smells this good and looks even yummier..WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?"
As I start taking deep breaths trying to calm myself pretending I'm in a safe place..and I'm imagining that this feels so good!!!
Songs over~ gotta go..whew! That was a close call!
Lord help me to not trip over my wagging tongue! (aka: not to mess this up too!)
This was barely a whispered prayer, but still a prayer of permission for HIM to intervene and that HE did.
Stay tuned..for more "Love is in the air" beginnings..
2 comments:
I LOVE memory lane and that yours started in a place with 'rodeo' on the sign. Watch out-your marriage may get better with each posting. I'm warning you.
oh, oh, oh... I love love stories too.. and rodeo's, and Wranglers, and cowboys and Stetsons.... :D
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